


Desire Realized

by The_Plaid_Slytherin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Post-Prisoner of Azkaban, Remix, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-12-26 08:57:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12055599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Plaid_Slytherin/pseuds/The_Plaid_Slytherin
Summary: Remus at last gets a taste of what he wants most.





	Desire Realized

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amyfortuna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyfortuna/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Finding Desire](https://archiveofourown.org/works/316042) by [amyfortuna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyfortuna/pseuds/amyfortuna). 



Remus had hoped that finally getting home would be a relief after the long journey, but the empty house just felt stale and lifeless after being shut up for nearly a year while he was at Hogwarts. 

Hogwarts. Harry. Peter. _Sirius_. 

The deluge of feelings penetrated even the lingering fog the full moon cast on his mind. It felt almost like losing Sirius all over again to have him snatched away so quickly. He hadn't even been conscious for most of it. He remembered how seeing Peter's name on the map had clicked it all into place, even with the transformation imminent. He had been more than ready to help Sirius kill Peter, though he knew now in his more rational state that this had been the wolf lusting for blood. It ought to have been a clue that he was close to changing without the wolfsbane, but he had ignored it. 

He sighed and opened the cabinet in search of tea leaves. A muttered spell lit the burner and his kettle was easily found in his trunk. He unwrapped a piece of Honeydukes Best while he waited for the water to boil. 

At least he was no worse off than he had started. Remus had learned at a young age not to expect good things to happen to him. Perhaps that was why he'd wanted so desperately to stay at Hogwarts; those seven years were the very best he'd ever had. But real happiness was not for the likes of him. 

This realization did little to dull the hurt of having just had it ripped from his fingers, especially when the wolf had had control and Remus had been helpless to do anything to try to save Sirius. 

_If I had had my potion, Peter would never have run off. We might have taken him to Dumbledore; they all would have seen that he was alive. That would have been all we needed._

It was pointless to dwell on it, just as it was pointless to dwell on images in mirrors. The two images he had seen in the mirror years apart were equally unlikely to occur and it was time he realized it. He poured himself some tea.

He was just beginning to contemplate putting his life back together (would he be able to get his job back at the Muggle supermarket he'd worked at last year?) when he heard the scratching at the door.

He dismissed the first wild thought that came to mind. There was no way Sirius could know where he lived. 

The scratching persisted.

Remus hoped nothing had settled in to occupy his house while he was gone. He didn't think he could deal with rats.

Suddenly, there was a crash, followed shortly by a sound that was half-curse, half-growl.

Remus drew his wand, though he kept it cautiously behind his back. His house was relatively isolated, but there was no magical community for miles. If he had a squatter, they were far more likely to be a Muggle.

He opened the door to the back bedroom.

The bundle of dirty robes on the floor lifted its head and Remus' heart nearly stopped as the mix of emotions washed over him. He was ashamed that his first thought was still fear—but he had lived with the supposed fact of Sirius' betrayal for twelve years. Thankfully, that first thought was gone in an instant, replaced by nothing less than an all-consuming rush of love.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing here?" he breathed, once he had at last regained the use of his voice.

"Sorry for the entrance." Sirius rose untidily and began brushing himself off, though judging by the filthiness of his robes, it wouldn't do much good. "But I had to see you, Remus."

They were separated from each other by the bed, which Remus was thankful for as it was the only thing preventing him from throwing himself at Sirius. He did not want to do that. He wanted answers first.

"How did you know where I lived?"

Sirius pushed the tangle of his hair out of his eyes. "That clever cat again. I had him go into Dumbledore's office and get your address."

"You shouldn't have stayed near Hogwarts. You could have been caught."

The familiar glint of mischief was back in his eyes, the one that made Remus' knees go weak. "But I wasn't."

"This time." Remus glanced out the window as though expecting to see Dementors sailing over the fields toward his cottage. 

"Dumbledore let a few false tips slip to the Ministry. Enough that they'll be months chasing down leads that don't go anywhere. Leads. Maybe you should get one. Then we could go out and you'd just be taking Snuffles out for walkies."

"Sirius, don't—"

His thin face suddenly sobered. "You're right. This is a serious situation." There was a brief pause of perhaps three seconds. "Oh, hell, Remus, I can't." He came round the foot of the bed and pulled Remus into his arms. "I missed you. I couldn't leave England without seeing you."

Remus didn't have the words to respond, so he responded the only way he could. He kissed him. It didn't matter that Sirius hadn't bathed in a length of time Remus didn't want to contemplate, or that he smelled more of dog than man. He was dimly aware that this—their desperate kisses, the way his fingers clutched at Sirius' tattered robes—was nearly exactly the image he'd seen in the Mirror of Erised.

They didn't say anything else for a good while. Their brief embrace in the Shack had done nothing to make up for twelve years. Nothing could, but this was a start. How little time he'd spent actually touching him had tormented him since he'd left the school, but now he could work on committing Sirius to memory. It was not the Sirius of their youth, but it was the Sirius he had now, the one he would never doubt his love for, the one he now felt vindicated for having never stopped loving.

"I love you," he murmured, giving voice to what he hadn't been able to say earlier. 

"I love you, too." 

Remus was too afraid to say something else, was too worried that if he did, it would bring this moment to an end. Sirius could not stay here, not even disguised as Remus' dog. Peter knew what Padfoot looked like and that danger far outweighed any desire to keep Sirius with him. Or at least, it ought to have. Probably the most dangerous thing was that Remus was willing to take that chance.

"I'm sure I smell," Sirius murmured into Remus' neck.

"You do," Remus said, because he could not deny it. 

"I guess I could stand to take a bath…"

"You could." He could not stay; it was pure foolishness to contemplate. But perhaps, even for a little bit… He smiled. "Come on, it's right upstairs."

He didn't think it was likely that he would leave Sirius alone anytime soon. He could not stay, of course, not permanently. But they could have time. He wouldn't have put it past Dumbledore for this to have been his intention in sending the Aurors on a wild goose chase. 

So, yes, he would give in to his deeper desires, at least for a little bit.


End file.
